Push...

I need to get out...
I need to get out to reality...
I have been so reclused.
Being with one person after my divorce was bitter sweet. He offered me comfort and love and all cuddly things you get in a relationship....
Then it ended.
No real reason, he just didn't have time for me. Career takes priority over things like that.
I get it.
Next step for me?
I have no idea.... I have a few friends, I definitely have family.
I just need to take care of me... What does that mean.





I have no idea.

Giving back

I'm on the upside.
I'm in great spirits. No need for boohooing anymore....
This is me, this is my life.
I love my life, my family, my fur babies and I am completely content and stable. I will return some of my past to their right owners this week, they probably won't care but it will make me feel better. Giving something back to someone that is a tad ( not completely) but a little outside of the box makes me feel warm and fuzzy for at least a tad.
We will see how that works out. Probably no response but I am ok with that. It's my end I care about... Doing the right thing.
Peace bitches...

Live and let go....

I have loved... I have lost...
I have experienced it for the first time.
I love to love...
I feel lost but loved. I'm holding out hope for love. I want to find a man that makes me happy.
I haven't felt loss in a long time and I did last week. It hurts.
I just want to be loved 😘

I self destruct....

I can't help it.... I just do... I don't know how or why I just do...
I don't know how to fix myself or find my way.
I'm not good at dating, I'm not good at anything but loving my people and Wylie and Sadie :(
I'm lost.... I'm strong, but I'm alone.
A mans touch is nice but I get ahead of myself. I expect too much. I'm too needy I feel.
I have issues.... Major issues and that's hard to admit and own up too.
I let something go that was special, not typical for me, but special in its own way.
I self destruct.
I let my guard down and opened my arms expecting too much. I'm a hopeless romantic but a realist.
I'm lost. I have everything but nothing but companionship. I lost that yesterday. Not purposely just out of needing more. I need to work on myself.
I don't miss my old life, I embrace my new life, it's just weird....
I want to be a good person, I want to love to my max and I did and it bit me in the ass.
I needed too much.
Why do I need anything from anyone? I don't know but I do. My heart is empty, my soul is full with love from my dogs and family but my heart is empty ;(
It will get better, they tell me, you will be ok.....
I live with demons....
I love and hate my demons but they are mine, and mine to use as I wish.

New life

So, my friend Jenny inspired me to blog again....





Just don't know what to say at the moment...

I'm a new person now so let's meet Kasie.

I'm an independent woman.
I love people as long as they don't get in the way of my dreams.
I'm moody...
I have become very independent in my ways. Living alone does that to you.
I feel my life in others eyes took a drastic turn, like people didn't see it coming and they blame that on me for breaking the dream.
I feel like some people just don't know the real me.
I am going to try and ease into this as much as possible but there is no easy way.
First of all don't EVER except being called stupid. Did it for 10+ years, not acceptable.
You are better than that.
I lost a lot of friends from my divorce but it made me see who my true friends were.
 which was not a lot... Everyone went to the dark side aka my ex
It's never ok to feel abused.
I can remember walking on egg shells every day I came home, not cool.
I was called stupid everyday and had things thrown at me.
I'm at the house alone and divorced now but happier then I have ever been. God is good.
I will make piece and be happy in some shape or form.
I don't trust hardly anyone.
People fail you....
I had a very good lesson in people failing you. You think you find it..... Nope,,,,



Live and learn.... I have learned so much from my past I can't put into words. Glad people left but people stayed that were more glad people.


I need to blog more often, it feels good,

Doing Better

I haven't been writing because quite frankly I can't say too much. It will be used against me in the court of law.

What I can say is I'm doing great. I have the house to myself. I have my home back. I don't have to worry about coming home and getting in a fight.

It's nice.

Things are going better for me. My family is in high spirits and that's all that matters. 

I hope everyone is doing well. Not that anyone reads this silly thing but it gives me a chance to vent and release my feelings. 

With that being said I hope for a happy week ahead. 

Trying times

Dead porcupine !!

Things have been a bit tense at home.

I filed for divorce on April 8, 2014.

Was it easy???? No. I thought about the decision for months. 

Trust me this was not easy for me. 

On that same note, I deserve better. Even if I'm alone. 

Point blank.

I need normalcy in my life. 

I deserve better. 

I don't have to live in your world anymore. 

I will be ok. 

I will prevail. 

Whether it be with family or alone, I will prevail.  

Nothing hard is easy. I will be ok. People go through it everyday. 

Walk in the park when you have people stand behind you and love you, which seems to be few and far between ...

I struggle daily but I know the people that stand behind me and love me.... Thank you. 

Iove you back so much, more than YOU will ever know 

End

The end... Nobody wants to hear it... Nobody wants to admit it... Nobody..... It sucks. There comes a point in ones life where they look in the mirror and decide it's time to move on. I'm at that point. When it's done it's done. What does the future hold for KC ?? I have no idea.... I just know something has to give. I wish I had a perfect life or a perfect marriage but anybody that says that is a liar. Been through shit and took shit for a while. I give... Do I have nice things? Yes, absolutely... Are they worth it? No. So this is the end. The ride was good, was it bumpy at times? Yes.... Feels good to vent. I'm turning the page to my next chapter. I hope it brings me happiness. Only thing that makes me happy anymore is listening to music these days. I have no idea where I'm going with this I just know I need to vent. Do I always do the right thing? No. I'm immune is all I can tell you. I can turn my feelings on and off with a snap of a finger. I am done..... I pray for myself tonight I seek happiness and find it. 

I'm determined to find myself and happiness... 

Bye Bye 2013

* Today marks the end of the year and for me I am a little excited to see what this next year holds for me.

* This past year has definitely had some ups and downs. It's been a tough year emotionally for me. Everyone has a dysfunctional family right?

* Some more than others but this year my family wanted the #1 DYSFUNCTIONAL award. Congrats. I think you received it. SMH

* Anyhow, I'm excited to start the new year with a fresh new look.

* I hope 2014 treats me better than 2013.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE BE SAFE, DONT DRINK AND SPILL DRIVE.
 

I'm back bitches!!!

I haven't wrote in almost a year. I don't know why. Just busy I guess.
I survived Christmas 2013. I should receive an award.
We have been to the deer lease every weekend for the past 3 months. I could live out there. :)
I will try and post more pictures and write more.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know I will.
peace.

 

Scary !!

Scary!!!

??'s

I get frustrated at my own stuff sometimes.

I'm not the perfect wife but sometimes I feel like I go over and aboard what I should be doing.

Am I alone???

Ughhh!!


Maybe I'm just bitching. I am only one person. I strive to please everyone. You can't. It's impossible.

I always love to help out and try to cheer for the best team. I. Am. Only. One. Person. Can't. Please. Everyone.

I wish I could tell everyone what I am feeling but I can't. It would be stupid. I don't think people "get me"

This is my outlet sorry, it feels good to blog again. Been slacking.


I just need a fix-it-all and I don't mean drugs!!

Am I jacked up??

Prolly so...

Peace

I'm back....

* I'll be the first to admit it. I am not a reliable blogger. Does anyone read this thing anyways?? I guess it doesn't matter. It's just a place I can say whatever I want.

* Winter to me is depressing. I HATE COLD WEATHER. I'm not a fan of the snow, sleet, or rain. Maybe the snow, as long as it doesn't stay very long and it's not unbearably cold outside to play in it.

* My Christmas was ok. My Mema wrote a book and gave everyone a copy for Christmas. I will always and forever cherish that book. It was a composite of her life's journals. WOW!! It was great. I wish I would have started to journal when I was a child and kept up with it throughout my life, but I have never been good at writing on demand. I seem to only want to write when I feel like it I guess.

* I figured facebook would have been long gone by now. But, I still look at it everyday. Let's all admit, the only reason we stay on there is to keep up with the gossip. I find more stuff out on facebook without even intrusing in anyones business. It's great!!

* I need to post more pictures on here, I just have been lazy I guess. I will try and be more involved in this silly blog.

peace

Random Olympic Post

God Bless the USA.... and uhh SWEDEN!!

2 Minute Sneak Peek: Dexter Season 7 - I love this show

TGIF

I wander how long that woman practiced that move before doing it in public. She doesn't even miss a beat.

Happy Friday Everyone. Stay Safe.

1/2 Way There

I don't have a whole lot to say today other than this week has been a bit depressing.
Laying in bed trying to sleep Sunday night I read a Wise County Messenger post on facebook that informed me one of our friends had been killed in a car accident.

Like that is going to help me sleep.

Not only was Keith a friend, he was also a co-worker of my husband so I quickly rolled over and broke the news.

Keith was a good man. He was funny, smart and above all loyal to his family and friends.

Going to fast down a road and meeting a tree will definitely send you to heaven in most cases.

Come to think of it, that is the second friend of mine that has been killed by losing control and slamming into a tree.

Keith was just married in February to a girl I went to school with. She had two kids prior, and from what I understand had just lost a baby with Keith.

Sad Sad Sad...

It's been 8 months since we lost Ashley unexpectedly to a rare aneurysm. I know it's life and things happen and people go on but it gets a bit depressing sometimes.

I feel for Keith's wife and step kids. I cannot imagine losing my husband, especially to something as horrible as a car accident, or any accident for that matter.

Just proves you never know when you are going to go be with the Lord.

REST IN PEACE KEITH JOZWIAK

Gone but not forgotten...

Ps.

I didn't know snakes had teeth like this. Kind of a scary picture. This was in our shop, where I work out everyday :0

Friday Friday !!!!

I saw THAT last weekend in North Richalnd Hills. WTF?? Some people....

- I haven't wrote in a while because I really haven't felt like it and quite frankly have not had much to say I guess.

-  I need a vacation. I want to go back to Mexico but the extra money we have layed aside has to go to more important things I suppose.

-  We managed to burn up our new radio receiver. I guess that is what happens when it blares full blast rocking songs for 12 hours straight in the 100 degree heat. We are less than a month from our one year warranty being out, so I guess I can't bitch too much.

- I love my husband but I am starting to become jealous of the benefits he gets from working and doing what he does. He gets to go golfing all the time, he gets to go  fishing in Texoma next week, and damn it, I can't go!! I get off early every Friday this month and guess what I get to do??? Go home and sit in a quiet house. Or I can do yard work I guess... He is lucky.

- Althouhg, I can't bitch too much because we got to go to the Ranger game about a month ago and sit in a box. All the free food and beer you want. Air conditioned and all, it was awesome.

- I hate grocery shopping.

- We killed two snakes in one day at my house. I am beginning to think killing the bull snake was a bad idea since I have pulled two dead mice out of our pool skimmer. Gross, I know.

- Anyways, I gotta get back to work. Everyone be safe and have a great weekend.



My view

It Could Happen To You

Happy hump day...

To all my peeps...

Mexico I my backyard oh yeh!

So we got everything planted and it looks amazing!! 5 Florida sables and a pindo palm later it looks so good!
Now time to drink and chillax!!

I grew these myself

And they were delicious!

WTF

That is all.

Thirsty Thursday !!

This is what I will be planting ALL weekend long.

Just when I thought our backyard was complete, we decide to add big palms to it. Granted, it will look super nice but man I'm getting tired of working in the back yard. It's never ending.

I have to go grocery shopping after work and I hate going to the store.

The price of groceries puts me in a hateful mood.

I have been reading a book on Auschwitz. Oh My. I cannot believe what I have read so far. What a sad and depressing time.

We had a little get together last Saturday and all my nephews came to swim and my sisters came over. It was such a great time. I love my family.

If my husband damages the grass this weekend with any type of machinery, I might have to smack him in the face.

Not joking.

Apparently these palms weigh 400-500 pounds so the only way to get them where you want them is to move with them with an excavator or Bobcat.

I want to find a really good blogger app for my nook or iPhone. Any suggestions??

Last Friday I was driving to work and to take Sadie to the vet and my back window just busted and shattered everywhere. After I spent an hour vacuuming it out look what I found...

Hubby says it came off a tie down from an 18 wheeler. Geez.... good thing it didn't come through the windshield and bust me in the face... jack waggons....

Oh, and Sadie was limping for about 2 weeks and I finally took her to the vet. The vet says she "severed her ACL" and she will need a $1,500.00 surgery.

It's funny because she is starting to walk better on it now and has a sight limp. Could very well be the pain pills though.

He says it's common in dogs...

 Really Mr. Vet???!!!  Then why, if it's so common does it costs $1,500.00 to  fix?????????????????????????????????????????????

Sometimes I think they tell you the worst so you'll pay the most. So... I requested the Xrays.

He told me when I requested them that I would not be able to see the torn ACL. But I paid for the damn things, I should at least get to see what I paid for dammit!

Ok, I think that is all. I'll try and post pictures after the palms are in the ground. Say a prayer for my grass.

peace.

EDIT: I just found blogger for your iphone.

Funny...

Happy Friday!!

Check out the playlist of the saddest youtube videos ever. Good Luck not crying. I watched two of 19 and already cried.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL9BD5E9DCFC492580


Have a great Friday!

Eminem At Coachella (With Dr Dre) Can't forget my man Em

THIS IS SO COOL!! I loved TUPAC

Happy Hump

Crab I ate and Beer I drank

*Easter was SO much fun!! We left last Wednesday and got home on Monday. It was a nice get away. The crab, shrimp, gumbo, crawfish, catfish, beer, was delicious as always!

* I didn't know Bud Light sold a PLATINUM beer until I went to Louisiana. Anybody else seen this on shelves, or is Wise County behind on the beer evolution??

* I tried one, it was noticeably stronger than the usual Bud Light, and it tasted pretty good.

* I haven't posted anymore pics of the backyard because I have been waiting on our first cut of the grass we laid down before I took a whole lot of pics, but it looks really good.

*We are taking the pool cover off tonight. Hopefully there are no critters living under there.

*Can I tell you what a beating it is every time we have a family function and I get GRILLED and thrown to the wolves because I am the only female in  both sides of our family to not only NOT pop out a kid, but NOT WANT one either??

*It. Gets. Old.

*Plus, it makes me think we are jacked up in the head. Which is probably more likely of an explanation but we are happy so get over it.

*Got home yesterday to mow and was SO excited because the damn lawn mower started right up. I did one lap around the yard and realized the back tire was flat. After further investigation I realized the front little tire was also flat and off the rim. DAMN IT!! An hour later and a pissed off husband, I started mowing again.

*I think God sprinkled some miracle grow in the rain cause the weeds in my yard look like they are on steroids. I had to mow over them twice and we have a good lawn mower. I only got half way done. Guess what I'm doing tonight till dark??

*I gotta get back to work. Happy Hump day everyone.

KONY 2012

I am always hesitant to donate money to an online fund, but this video might change my mind.

BackYard Project

So.. we are getting our rolls of grass in today and although I  am NOT thrilled to do the work, raking and putting the stuff down, I think it will look SO good when it is done. We finally got our sprinkler system put in last week so here is a few pics of the yard before we put our grass down. I know it doesn't look like we have done shit in the back yard, but I promise, this is hours of dirt work. Yes, we fortunately have been blessed with a Bobcat to move a large portion of the dirt, but I have raked that back yard over the past two weeks probably 10 times. And I can feel it. We also added docorative stone around the opening of each gate so the grass will not prevent the gate from opening. That is what we did all last weekend. They look really good there but I forgot to take pictures of that so I'll save it till tomorrow or the next day.

I cannot beleive how much of a difference adding the dirt has been to the structure of the yard. We had to bring in about $600.00 worth of dirt to make it ready for grass.

AFTER WE ADDED FIELD DIRT:

THEN WE  ADDED SAND:

THEN WE ADDED TOPSOIL, BUT I WAS TOO TIRED AND LAZY TO TAKE A PICTURE. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO VISUALIZE. IT WONT BE HARD TO DO.

We have 12 pallets of grass to put down. I wander how long it wil ltake us working on it every night after work???? Plus it's suppose to rain the next 5 days. Ugh... I don't mind a little rain, but if I knnow my husband we will be putting grass down, rain or shine. So, two people, 12 pallets. If I can function in the next couple days I will post pics.

We also planted a blue berry and black berry plant and some mixed chaldium bulbs. So, Im excited to see if they actually come up in the pots. We shall see.

I'm not a fan of Lindsey Lohan, but this was pretty funny

Disney Housewives

Irony - Someones Death Brings My Family Joy

How strange things can change in one week.
That little guy is now part of our family. He is 14 months old.
It is awkward to say someones death brought my family joy, but it is true.
Almost a week ago, his biological mother took her own life.
How could you leave someone so precious behind?
Because that is how you were raised.
Kill yourself to avoid the unpleasantness of life.
It is a vicious cycle.
His mother was my 3rd or 4th cousin. I don't talk to her side of the family because my mothers biological side of the family has never been a part of my life.
My Papa adopted my mom at a very young age and he is my true Papa.
My biological grandfather was an evil man. He burned all of his identity, called his own daughter (my moms sister) and told her that he was going to kill himself and he wanted her to have to identify his body, then he shot himself in the head while he was on the phone with her.
That obviously messed her up for life because about 15 years later she decided life wasn't worth living and purposely set her house on fire and killed herself.
Now, 10 years later, her daughter decided life wasn't worth living. She texts her father and told her the baby was sleeping and she was going to be with her mom in heaven.
This was her last post:

"DEAR FAMILY AN FRIENDS MY LIFE ISNT GOING ANYWHERE AN I CANT FIX IT I LOVE YALL BUT I WANT MY MOMMA."

After she sent that facebook post she hung herself from her front porch.
I feel bad that she was lost soul but, I do not feel bad that my sister will now raise her baby.
Her selfishness for her own child's life has now bled over into a joyous reunion for my family.
This child was neglected by his own mother. Left in a crib while he cried at night with two bottles so he could fend for himself.
Their sewer had backed up into their water system and the baby drank his milk mixed with that water and had his clothes washed with that water. ALL of his clothes reeked of mold and sewer. This baby had 3 toys. 3.... THAT IS IT.
You should have seen the look on his face when my sister let him meet everyone yesterday. He was so excited to see other kids to play  and you could see he was in ultimate explorer move. He will probably not remember the day he came to our family, but it was as glorious as the day my sister birthed their own children.
You could  see a baby be reborn into something instead of nothing. Now, if we can get passed all of the paperwork, we are home free. I hope.

BLAH!! FREAKING MONDAY!!

I worked muscles in my body I didn't know I had yesterday. We had to dig up our pool lines to make sure we knew where they were so we could get a ditch witch in and put in some french drains. Ugh.... THAT my friend was not fun. We were shoveling dirt till dark in the cold. We successfully found the lines and did not bust any pipes in the process, so that's a plus.

We went and ate with some friends Saturday night. After we got home, we were flipping through the channels and  watched Boogie Nights. WOW!! How have I never seen that movie before??

Mark Wahlberg plops out his dick and it's completely obvious it's a 13" rubber fake. Quite entertaining.

Itunes has a special $6.99 for some albums. I just downloaded the Coldplay album. I would have just bought the Paradise song, but for $5 more, I'll take all 14 songs.

All my husband wants for Vday is chocolate covered strawberries. I wet to the bakery to buy some and they were out. I'll just make them myself. Melt chocolate and dip. Can't be too hard.

He keeps asking me what I want but I have no idea. We usually just get each other a card and write 10 things we love about each other. Sounds sappy, but hell it's cheap so shut it.

I could not watch the news this morning  for more than 5 minutes at a time with out them mentioning or celebrating the life of Whitney Houston. The horse is dead, quit beating it.

This will go on for a couple weeks, die down, and then will flair back up when the autopsy results come in.

 While I'm on the subject, why the hell do people rush to itunes to download music that has been there all along and will stay there. Just cause the person dies people all the sudden want to listen to the music?? I don't get it.

I bet strawberries have doubled in price since last week when I bough them, all because of Vday.

I need some new running shoes. Has anybody bought any Reebok Zigs?

Paradise

Glad that is over.

Finally found out what killed one of my best friends last October.
Does the autopsy results give anybody closure? No.
I thought that it would, but it doesn't really make me feel any different about the situation.
Landscaping is going to be a bitch.
We got two estimates for sprinkler systems for the front and back yard. $5,500.00.
We are going to attempt do it ourselves.
Hopefully the costs of supplies will be less than $2,500.00.
Work. Work. Work.
I tried Google+. I wasn't impressed.
We just found out one of our neighbors has colon cancer I think he might be 40. It is pretty bad. No insurance. He can't work, the wife has no job.
She is trying to apply for food stamps.
They have three kids.
Sad situation, but I think we can all band together to keep their bellies full, or at least try.
I'm going to check out a tanning bed today. It's a 1997 bed, but the seller says it's in good condition and works well. She wants $500 for it. I'm skeptical, but I'm going in half's with my sister so I would be making a $250.00 mistake if all else fails. I'm going to go look at it first.
I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and we are selling our stripper pole/stage.
The pole was fun while it lasted. In all the time we had it we only had one incident in which someone went to the ER.
Drunk + Pole + 2 1/2 ft. drop = Broken collar bone.
No it was not me.
Both of my nephews can text me and facetime me from their own Itouch, and I love it.
I'm off and out.
peace.

Shit Black Girls Say

funny.

Bad Meets Evil - Lighters ft. Bruno Mars

Do you give your kids Go Go Juice Honey boo boo child ??

Oh. MY.
Entertainment at its best! I enjoyed the full 6:06.
And, I have to admit, I went home and set the DVR for Toddlers and Tiara's just for gold like this.

New Year, Start of a New Decade... for me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

- Yeh I know it's late, but who cares.
- So, it's Friday and I'm super excited cause that means at 5:00 p.m. the WEEKEND is here.
- I prefer the weather to be warmer, but the last few days has been SO much better than the last few weeks.
- Today would be a good day to go golfing.
- We are going to have to buy grass for the back yard. I'm on the fence on what to get, but we will probably end up buying Bermuda grass. This spring will be busy and costly with landscaping around our brand new pool. BUT, it will look nice when it's done.
- I wanted to go back to Mexico this summer but Jessie informed me Mexico is in our own backyard this year and we need to spend the money we would spend on vacation on landscaping. It's hard to argue with that.
- So, I was just thinking about taking a week off in the summer, hiring a servant/house keeper and being a bump on a log on my back patio by the pool as if it were Mexico.
- BUT in reality I will probably take a week off to work my ass off in our yard.
- I just joined Google +
- It reminds me of facebook, kind of.
- I turn 30 next month. I'm kind of freaking. I will be leaving my 20's....
- We sure have enjoyed our hot tub the past few months. We will probably crank it up tonight and enjoy some drinks.
- I don't understand Pininterest.
- I had a dream last night my sister shaved her head. The family freaked out like the media freaked out when Britney shaved hers. It was weird.
- People who act like their life is perfect probably live in their own personal hell hole.
- My life is far from perfect, but that's what I like about it.
- I really like Pandora Radio.
- I went out of my normal zone and bought 2 apps, and 1 song in a week. Holy shit!
- I'm a tight ass, there I said it.
- My one wish for my birthday?? CRAWFISH!! I'm talking 100 pounds flown in from New Orleans. (Make it happen... make it happen... fingers crossed.)
- Jessie's Dad is from New Orleans and promises to fly me 100 pounds of crawfish for my party. We shall see. I know he can get them. Hell he will probably be the one that catches them. BUT, sometimes he falls short of following through.
- We haven't got crawfish in over 4 years because the price is ridiculous for Live crawfish, and we always cook them ourselves because my husband has Ragin' Cajun blood running through his veins and that man knows how to cook some crawfish.
- We always spend Easter at his grandparent house in New Orleans and we always buy about 100 pounds of crawfish and 25 pounds of shrimp and just pig out all day.
- Hey, at least it's straight protein ad no carbs!
- Here is a pic from last Easter: That's from one of many pots.

- I'm making myself hungry.

- That's all I got today. Gotta get back to work.
- peace


Just some thoughts...

I think this is my favorite gift of all my gifts this year. One of my dear friends made this for me. Every letter represents someone I have lost in my life. This was therapeutic for her, because the A, represents her own daughter we lost in October. Thank you Wendy.

S - Sharon Leewright - Aunt
Sharon was a beautiful person inside and out. She was taken way too soon from a very rare disease, scaladerma.

E - Evelyn Edwards - Aunt
There are no words to explain to you what a kind hearted, loving person my Aunt Eve was. Cancer took her from us and now she is in heaven. She was definitely one of a kind.
G - Grant Edwards - Cousin
If you read my blog you will know the story of how we lost Grant, but if you are new, he died on HWY 380 between Decatur and Denton on his way home. They think he fell asleep at the wheel. Hit a truck head on. He died instantly. He left behind a baby boy, that was only a few months old. He was always a dare devil, and is greatly missed. He died the day before my birthday.

A - Ashlie Wright - Best Friend
We lost Ashlie on October 16th. She died from a aneurysm. She is proof that when God wants you, he will take you. She was fine one minute, gone the next. She was truly a one of a kind best friend. I miss her so much, and I suppose I always will. she left behind a five month old baby.

All four were gone way too soon.
RIP

On a lighter note, my wonderful father made this for Jessie and I:

I was sick almost the whole Christmas vacation. I suspect food poisoning. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, but luckily I felt better by Christmas night. Nothing worse than needing to shit and puke at the same time. Not afraid to tell ya, it was BAD!

Other than that, my vacation was great. Jessie and I took the pool cover off the pool yesterday to clean out the leafs that had fallen in between the water fall and pool. We are going to have to n-rigg something up tonight to try and keep the leafs from flying in.

OH!! Funny story:

Jessie and I bought the boys Guini Pigs for Christmas without asking their parents first. I know it's cruel and mean, but the look on their faces when we showed the boys their last Christmas present was PRICELESS!!

Isn't JJ cute??

The boys should have fun with them, I hope. They were both suppose to be males, (so the pet store guy says), come to find out they have different parts. Cazen chose the "bigger guini pig", which we later found out is in fact a girl. She's probably pregnant!! HA HA HA!! I think my sister might just kill me. Let's just say I won't be surprised if a box shows up on my door and their is a bunch of baby guini pigs.

I want to buy a gas/charcoal grill for the backyard. I guess I need to do some research and see if they is even possible. I can't wait till this spring/summer to use our pool and enjoy all the hard work we put into our backyard.

I only have to work 3 days this week, so hello 4 day weekend all over again. I'm pumped!

I had a crazy idea about jumping a plane to Cancun for the 4 day weekend, but I'm sure that would be WAY over our price range, but man that would be fun.

Happy Friday

- So, I haven't blogged in a while. I didn't want to even put my Christmas tree up this year, but finally did.
- I am not one to get depressed but losing Ashlie unexpectedly has put a gloom over the holiday season for everyone.
- The weather doesn't help either. I hate cold weather.
- I am ready for Christmas. We have decided not to buy Christmas for each other this year so we can buy a new grill for the back porch. Our grill is almost burnt out of the bottom.
- I have to go to the House of Blades today to finish up my Christmas shopping.
- The presents under my tree look a little lonely. Everyone got gift cards this year except the boys.
- My sisters took them to get their pictures done this week.

- Don't let their precious faces fool you. They are a handful, but I love them so much.
- I draw legal documents all day and have done Will after Will, but there is something creepy about drafting your own will.
- Everybody should have a Will. If you own a home, have kids, married or not. It is more important than anybody realizes. If you have the money, get one drawn up.
- I didn't realize it but if hubby and I died at the same time, 1/2 our shit would go to my parents and 1/2 to his parents.
- Trust me, that does not need to happen.
- OK didn't mean to go off about Wills but I think people only think about older people needing one. Think about this... What would happen to your kids, your house, your car, etc.

Anyways, Happy Holiday, everyone and have a safe and Happy New Year!

SNL Kardashian Divorce

This is really good. It really brings the LOL'S!!
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/kardashian-divorce-special/1366614

Reality Check

Please, please, please, if you do anything today call and tell the people you love, that you love them.

We had the golf benefit Saturday, October 15th for my brother in laws nephew. Oh how our world would change that day. I was texting Ashlie, one of my best friends and my neighbor of 15 years.  Her and her husband were going to come over and hang out that night. They had went to Ranch Bash in Fort Worth and were on their way home. Ashlie said she wasn't feeling well. She laid her head down in the truck, and fell asleep. Ronnie got her home and tried to wake her up with no response from her, he called an ambulance and they care flighted her to Harris Hospital. By the time we got to see her, she was gone.
No brain activity... She is gone ... They pronounced her deceased an October 16th at 7:27 p.m.
I was fortunate enough to see her and to say goodbye to her, but it wasn't the same. I was saying goodbye to a best friend, and I could tell she was no longer there.
How could this happen? I was texting her hours before this and she was perfectly fine???
They tell us it was a intracerrebral brain hemorrhage. It can happen to anybody, out of the blue, for no reason at all. Ashlie had just had a baby girl named Brenlie. Brenlie is only 5 months old. My heart breaks for her family, Ronnie and their baby.
All I know to do is let Brenlie know everyday how special, kind hearted, generous and loving her mother was. My heart still aches because I want to ask God why, but my faith tells me there is a reason for everything. Ashlie was a organ donor and saved 12 peoples lives. 12 people!! One of which was a child at Cooks Children, right next store who had been in the hospital for months waiting on a kidney transplant. I guess Ash was his parents angel. While they received an angel, we lost one. I urge you to become an organ donor, if you are not already. The donor organization allows the patient to recover for a year before Ashlie's family can meet the recipient. I believe this will be a great help in the healing process. In the mean time, we have Brenlie. And she is a piece of Ashlie.
So, please, please, please hug the ones you love and let them know you love them. We never know when our time on earth is through.

Rest in Peace Sweet Ashlie... I will see you again one day.

There will be a benefit for Ashlie on Saturday, November 5, 2011 from 2:00 p.m. - 11 p.m. at the Decatur Women's Building, in Decatur, Texas. After the Ranch radio station found out about what happen, almost all the bands that played that day signed a brand new guitar that will be auctioned off. There are also several bands that played at Ranch Bash that will be playing at the Benefit for Ash. I hope you can make it out and support a good cause.

- pool is done

I'm SO glad it's Friday

- The backyard is coming along. I will post some more pics this weekend. The porch is completely stained and the post have been rocked.

- Well house has been rocked.

- Pool will be done hopefully "fingers crossed" on Tuesday.

- Decking is to be this weekend. I hope they pour it tomorrow.

- Work is work. I have about 10 foreclosures to do this week. major power down.

- My parents and sisters family are going to Port Aransas this weekend. I wish we could go but oh well.

- We have a deadline and we got to make it.

- Getting the back yard fence up will be bitter sweet. Sadie will not be aloud to be in the back yard. Ever.

- She cannot be in a confined fence. She will go crazy and I don't want her digging to try and stay cool. She's getting the boot to the front yard :(

- I hate it when you have two friends that have a petty argument and then can't work it out. It puts me in the middle automatically. Especially when the only time they see each other is at my house.

- That sux.

- If one more contractor tells me "I'm sorry but I didn't account for "blah blah blah", it's gonna be $900 more dollars" I'm going to scream.

- 3 people have done that too us. We can only "pad" a loan for so much people. That $700 here and $800 there are starting to add up.

-I'm hoping we can get locked in at a really rocking interests rate. Not bragging but we have excellent credit and I'm hoping to get in the 2 or 3%. We shall see.

- I can't decide if I want to stick to my guns about not planting grass until spring, but I'm sure my husband will do it anyways so I don't know why I even bother.

- He ask my opinion, but I'm not sure why.

- Shopping for new patio furniture is becoming a beating. It's expensive and it sucks!

I could buy a whole new living room set for what they want to sale that patio crap for.

- We found one we liked on Sams Club website, but it was over $1,000.00.

- We have a bunch of left over wood, probably $700.00 worth, in which our contractor said we went over. Anyways, the husband claims he is going to build a nice cedar table to match everything so all we need to buy is chairs. The chairs he wants are $364 each. YES, I said EACH!!

- ready to be done with this crap, but Lord am I grateful to be able to do it. Some people aren't. So as much of a pain as it is, it kind of makes you feel good to know how hard you are working for something that will be so beautiful when it's done.

- I'm try to help with a benefit golf tournament for my sisters brother in laws son. He dove into the lake off of a boat dock. It was dark. There was no water. The lake is drying up. He is paralyzed. He is 19, has one child and another on the way. This happened about a month ago and I was hesitant to write about it until I knew all the details. He survived, but he is paralyzed, on a ventilator and is only able to speak when they "release his bubble" not really sure what that means but it has something to do with the ventilator. He did not sustain any brain injury, but he broke his back and neck and severely injured his spinal cord. The doctors say with determination and hard work he might walk again. He has gained some feeling in his hand and can move them a little, but nothing on his legs. He is now in a advanced therapy hospital in Dallas. I think Baylor maybe? Anyways, we are going to put together a benefit golf tournament for him in October. If anybody knows anybody who would like to sponsor a hole or donate a prize, please let me know and I will forward the appropriate documents to you.

Granite

- peace :)

Steel and plumbing

- peace :)

I splurged!! I spent 2.99 on a iPhone app for blog press!! Eek!!

I'm such a tight ass...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Porch

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Pool step 1

Yep we got a hole !



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I almost cried when my favorite tree hit the ground ;(

* Literally.... this was my favorite tree. We built our home around this tree. This tree was the biggest tree on our property. Unfortunately, it was standing where our pool will be ;( I hated to do it. But, there was no way around it. If we would have left it standing, it would have been a nuisance on the pool. I guess we could have built a lazy river around it, but I didn't see that being very practical.

* The guys doing our porch have managed to put a hole in our living room ceiling. Apparently the jack slipped while they were in the attic. Fortunately, Kip and his crew seem to be very honest down to earth people and will fix it before they finish the job.

* Day 2 of them there... I hear glass crashing to the floor in my dining area. One guy accidentally lifted a bored to far above his head, the results of which sent one of our globes from our chandelier above our table to the floor. No biggie, except we bought that chandelier because we loved it so much, but they have now been discontinued. Trey aren't normal clear globes. They are tan globes with white something-or-others in it.... Not sure how to explain it but I think I might have a hard time finding a new one.

* It could have been worse.

* I'm ready for shade in the back yard. This summer heat and no covered porch is wearing me out.

* I'm excited about our new additions to our house. I know pools are expensive and are a pain, but we have always wanted to be able to do what we are doing.

* We are very fortunate to be able to have what we have today. God has blessed us so much with great jobs, great neighbors and great family.

* Oh yeh, and I'm glad it is Friday. Now I gotta get to work on some documents for a closing this afternoon.

peace

testing 2

first step. we tore down the back porch. added concrete. next step porch.

FRIDAY!!

* New Trailer for Dexter Season 6. I LOVE this show. I've been watching since Season 1.
* I also like Shameless It's a must see. I can't wait for Season 2.
* I will have to wait till October for those two shows.
* If anybody forgot I am a HUGE fan of Big Brother! I have the app, I watch Big Brother After Dark while I work out, it's ridiculous. This year they brought back Jeff and Jordan, my favorite duo. Unfortunately they also brought back Brendon and Rachel, who make me want to vomit in my mouth and scratch my eyes out. Rachel's voice makes me cringe. I. cant. stand. her.
* She won HOH last night. Kill me now. This week is going to suck with her prancing around the house. BARF!
* So... I smashed my middle finger in our shop door and I'm pretty sure there is no hope for my nail. It's black, it hurts and it's probably going to fall off.
* I have decided designing and deciding on a in ground pool is almost as complicated as building a house. You would think it would be a piece of cake. It's not.
* Oh, and take a Xanex before asking the cost to build one. Your going to need it.
* Sometimes it's just easier to go with my husbands opinion because if I don't he will use the next few hours analyzing as to why we need to do it his way. I'm not bitching, it's just an observation.
* I'm glad it is Friday, but man oh man, we's gots a lot of work to do around the house.
* I'll try and post pics of the backyard as they develop.
peace.

I didn't realize the one I posted yesterday was Part 2. Here is Part one, done in 2010

History of Rap (7/19/11)

BUSTED !

That's right! I busted my bro-in-law for 132 points!

Wednesday What Ups!!

So... I know everyone under the sun is talking about Casey Anthony trial and how she was found NOT guilty. I have to say, I was shocked! Now she will walk free and clear of any wrong doing for that poor child. I understand the jurors point of view in regards to the state evidence. There was no cause of death ruled and mostly the prosecutions case was that Casey Anthony is a lying no good shitty mother. You can't convict people of first degree murder because they are a scum bag. I want to know why she wasn't charged with dumping the body, but then again there was no really proof of that either. Point blank we have another OJ on our hands. Whether that child's death was intentional or an accident she tried to cover up, Casey Anthony still did wrong in handling it and should be punished for more than lying to a cop.

... Anyways, I gotta quit talking about that case, it's irritating.

* I hate getting up and working out in the morning, but really once I actually get up and get dressed, it's not so bad at all.
* I'm ready for another vacation.
* Patio furniture is ridiculously expensive. I could probably by a new kitchen table and chairs for what it's going to costs to get a nice set for outside!
* I always find myself longing for the weekend, but I love my job.
* My favorite apps on my Iphone is Words With Friends, Hanging With Friends and Zombie Farm. I like the news apps too, but that's just cause I'm a news freak.
* I wish I knew how to speak Spanish.
* I'm kind of getting sick of facebook, but I catch myself checking it several times a day.
* Something weird: The last month I keep getting blisters on my feet from running. First it was the back of my heels on both feet, then that healed and a few weeks later I got blister on the inside of the side of my foot. I got them on both feet exact same spot. (pic below)
* I could barely walk Saturday because of the pain. It was dried up by Sunday and I was good to go when I worked out this morning, although it's still red.
I just bought brand new Nikes, so that can't be the problem. WHAT TO DO??

RIP Ryan Dunn

Ok, so it's a little late, but he was my favorite Jackass.

I can only hope they were dead on impact. But, at 130-140 mph, really what do you expect. It was bound to happen at that rate of speed.

Thirsty Thursday

* SO... we have been trying to decide how are new back yard is going to look. I have been trying to dig up pics off the Internet to get a feel for it. The one above is just an idea. We are building onto our porch and adding a pool in the near future. The porch is suppose to be cedar with vaulted ceiling and ceiling fans, flood lights, speakers, the works. I can't wait. Our backyard is going to be so cool next spring.
* Anybody recommend a pool builder. There is only one in Decatur and I have not heard any first hand count of how they are. I am going to be picky on the pool builder because I have heard plenty of horror stories and I don't want us to go down that road.
* I love my job, I just got my 4th of July bonus. That will be a nice addition to our savings.
* I think we will be boating this weekend, but try and be out of there before the crazy people line up to watch the fireworks in Runaway Bay.
* While walking out of the house this morning to work out I saw a jack rabbit and two deer in our front yard. It was still dark outside, so I got a flash light to make sure I knew what I was looking at. I figures they would run off, but they just sat there and stared back at me.
* Rumor has it we have a cougar with cubs on the loose. Our neighbors has tracks in his yard around his pond.
* I think it's cool and scary all at the same time.
* When other people perform major PDA it grosses me out and makes me uncomfortable. I'm not talking holding hand and the occasional peck, I'm talking people that come hang out or you see at the store and they can't keep their tongues in their mouth. Am I weird?
* We go through a ton of paper plates.
* If someone calls my house or work and ask for the manager, I immediately hang up. That's the first sniff of a salesman.
* I still haven't got to see me new nephew and he is over a month old now. Hopefully we can work out a time, because I want to be as close to him as my other nephews.
* I gotta get back to work.
peace ;)

Eminem - Space Bound

It's a disturbing video. But it's pretty good.

Thirsty Thursday

*Last week was amazing in Mexico. Good friends. Good drinks. Good times.
*This week, not so much... sucks...
*My husband is in a hearing (as I type) with the WCAD. Tax people stress me out. If we could sale our home for what they say it is worth, we would have sold it. It would be stupid to keep it.
urgghhhhh . . . .so stressful.
* Next year will be worse when we put a pool in.
* Even though we do well for ourselves, money stresses me out.
* I like the new Bad Meets Evil CD. No, I'm not black. I just LOVE EMINEM. I can't help it. I always have, always will.
* I am ghetto like that I guess.
* I really don't use twitter. I don't really like it. Why can't everyone use facebook. It's the same thing, kind of.
* I am the only lady in the office this week, which means I am SO busy. BUT, rather busy than bored so, I'll take it.
* We had a nice Fathers Day dinner steak and baked potato Sunday. I love it when all 10 of us can get together.
* My nephews are getting so big and smart. Makes me feel old.
* I want them to know they can talk to me about anything they want and not get in trouble. I have really been thinking about the drugs and alcohol in school and how I was afraid to talk to my parents about things like that. I definitely never would have approached my Aunts or Uncles about it. I want to be the adult they can confide in and feel safe in doing so.
* I worry about them. I know they are so young now, but you learn things quick in school.
* Do you know how much I learned when Cazen went through Kindergarten last year. And now he is about to start 1st grade?? Scary, let's just say that.
* I'm going to have to break down and mow this weekend.
* My grandparents 50th wedding anniversary is this weekend. I'm excited for them but they are not a typical couple. They have lived virtually in separate houses since I was a kid. They may live with each other 1/2 of the week. Not now... they just built a multi-million dollar home in Runaway Bay on the golf course and my Papa's making my Nana sale their house in Grapevine. They will now be co-habitating 24/7.... SCARY THOUGHT!! I hope they don't kill each other. Sounds crazy, I know. But it works for them. I think because they are getting older they have given in and decided one house for both will be enough.
* Don't you kind of wish you had a spare house to run to when things got stressful or you wanted to get away?? Yeh, not a bad problem to have.
* I am ready to go fishing.
* Did I mention Mexico was amazing??

First Person video of Joplin MO tornado 5/22/11

This video gives me goose bumps...

I cannot even begin to imagine how scary this was for everyone who experianced it.

THE SAME GUY WHO TOOK THE ABOVE VIDEO - Aftermath of First person Joplin Tornado

Friday Fun Day!

Sadie lady aka only child after a hard night of partying with us ;)

I have a pretty fun filled weekend. We are going to Ft. Worth tomorrow for a 8 year old birthday party. They are going to have laser tag at the park outside. I am not sure how that is going to work since I have only played it at an actually laser tag place, but we will see.

Afterword me and the hubby are going shopping for vacation clothes. This my friends, is either going to go really good or really bad for me. My husband would rather spend $100.00 on a pair of pants, jeans, shorts, shirts whatever than to scope for sales. I am the complete opposite. I mean for goodness sakes my favorite store is ROSS because although you have to dig through a bunch of clothes you are rewarded in the end with all the bargains you found!! So, to be honest the only reason I have conned him into going is because my sister and brother in law are going to. I guess he figures him and the BIL can escape and let me and my sister shop the way we want then all meet up later in the day. We will see how that goes.

I think we are going to Grapevine Mills. I went there a couple weeks ago, but was only in there to go to the OAKLEY store, and I was back out the door.

Which by the way, I bought me my first pair of Oakley's for only $39.00!!!! I have never spent that much money on a pair of glasses. I haven't lost them yet "knock on wood".

Less than a month till vacation... eek!

Last year we went to Mexico and my phone bill went up $90.00 because I had to call home a couple times and texts messages. . . I called AT&T to put the phones on international text and cell phone for a week. It is going to costs around $65.00 to put the service on and they still charge you by the minute to make calls. WTF! The 65.00 would be prorated for only the time we used it, that is if I can remember to call the day we get back and cancel the add-ons.
Prorated will probably be around $21.00 for 10 days. I think I'm going to go ahead and get it. Anything is better than the bill I paid last year. I almost had a heart attack.

I graduated from Paralegal school! OK, I know it's not college, but I was proud of myself! I'm thinking about taking the exam to be listed with the State Bar.

As much as I enjoyed scuba diving I cannot partake in it anymore. Last year I went with hubby and my ear drum busted. I was miserable after that, but still had a good time. I have always had ear problems, and I am accident prone, so I better stay away from that this year.

I want to go parasailing but this scares the shit out of me.

I want to go to the market but this scares the shit out of me.

All in all it should be a good time. This will be our 5th trip to Cancun, 2nd the same resort.

I have a closing to get to, gotta go !
peace

SO GLAD IT'S $%&*^@*$ FRIDAY!!

Mississippi Bridge



Royal Wedding overkill. So glad it is over.


I couldn't even watch the REAL news this morning, which really bugged me.


I have come to find that the news is like my coffee. It's the first thing I turn on in the monring and the last thing I turn off before going to work.


That makes me sound old.


The tornado that hit Alabama is horrific. I cannot imagine what those people went through. I was speechless at all of the videos and pictures.


What if it really is becoming the end of the world??

Our house taxes went up by $20,000.00!! I was SO PISSED!! Really??? $20,000.00!! If I could sale my house for what Wise Freaking County Appraisal District says it's worth I would be RICH! We are still fighting it, we will see what happens.

I have a bad headache, I just took something for it. Maybe it will go away soon.

I am hoping this time next year I can post a pic of our new inground pool!! I know they are a pain in the ass to keep up with but how cool is it going to be to lay in my OWN pool, in my OWN yard, however I want.

Playing the stock market is a little scary/exciting.

Enough for now, I have to get outta here.