... because it's hard to talk about...
Last year was one of many years I wish I could rewind, lock up and throw away the key. I want the whole year to erase. Or maybe I would just take a handful of months away because really the whole year wasn't horrible just the first few months.
William Grant Edwards
My dear friend, The LIFE of the party, my loving cousin, died in a horrible car accident the day after my birthday February 26th last year. I woke up that morning, like every morning and watched the news. I saw the wreck on the news and vividly remember saying a prayer for the family of the victim of that accident on 380. I went on about my morning, got ready for work and left the house. Got to work and received a phone call from a friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. I thought at the time it was weird but it was a Friday so I figured they may want to come out that weekend or something so I proceeded to answer the phone. The following is what transpired:
Caller: Hey you busy?
Me: I just got to work whats up?
Caller: Hey, have you heard anything about Grant I heard he was in a bad car accident.
Me: No!! I haven't is he ok? Do you know what happen? Oh my gosh! I'm sure if Dad knew he would have called. Hang on let me call him real quick.
Caller: Umm . . . I . . . I . . . I don't really know much about it thats why I called you.
At this point Caller figures out that he knows my cousin has passed away and he doesn't want to be the one to tell me :(
Dad: No Billy has tried to call me several times but now I can't get ahold of him.
Me: Well I heard Grant was in a wreck and I don't know how bad or if he's ok or what.
Dad: Well I guess I'll run out to the house and see whats going on because Billy won't answer.
Me: Ok call me back when you know something.
Five minutes later my dad met the Sheriff coming out of Billy and Grant's driveway. It's confirmed... Grant's gone..... Billy locked himself in his truck for hours. Just over two years ago, weeks from the date, we lost my Aunt Evelyn of cancer. Grant's mother, Billy's wife . . .
I struggle with wandering how one person can lose so much and still be sane. A family of four, is now a family of 2?? 1/2 gone . . . Just gone . . .
I guess Jesus gets you through it. I know he got me through this year...
That is an empty feeling. Why?? Grant had just had a baby boy in December. He will never get to experience marrying the love of his life, raising his beautiful son . . . cause he's gone.
The day we buried Grant, Murphy went missing. Haven't seen him sense. I still miss that little guy...
Maybe all of these loss and life experiences prepares you to have more faith, give more love and cherish the moments you have with the people you love. That right there really makes me realize how much God has blessed me with. I may not have children but I have alot of Joy in my life and I am content with that.
I have high hopes for this year. We are going to be welcoming a new baby nephew into the family this year, we already have vacation booked and unlike this time last year I only have about 10 pounds (not 60) to lose to rock my bikini bod :)
That is one positive thing I did for myself. I actually stuck with a New Years resolution and kept the weight off.
I don't know if I have many readers but who ever is reading this may God bless your life in 2011. Keep your family close to your heart. You never know when God will call them home...
